Whether we use intimidation or manipulation on others or others use it on us, the results can be destructive. Being manipulated by someone most often causes a person to feel devalued and the effects can be long term.
These tactics are often used by an abusive spouse and abusive parents, even though the person using the method seldom realizes he or she is using it. When a spouse or parent yells, puts down, or curses at his or her spouse or child, this is manipulation. I have watched a child shrink as a parent berated him, and I have seen a woman recoil under the threats and superiority of her husband.
Someone I know well married a young woman when she cried and played the victim, causing him to feel sorry for her. The marriage didn’t last. Another woman bullied her boyfriend into marrying her, and again, the marriage didn’t last. I have witnessed more than one occasion when a husband controlled his wife’s every move every day, displaying jealously and projecting blame when actually he was the unfaithful one, thus destroying his marriage and his wife’s self-esteem.
A boss, a coach, a teacher, a friend, a co-worker–anyone can use these tactics to bully and control others. Sometimes it’s hard to stand up to people who manipulate us, but we need to protect ourselves from this type of treatment.
Those who use intimidation/manipulation use these tactics:
- Silent treatment
- Guilt trip
- Projecting blame
- Playing the victim
- Explosive anger
When we realize our worth, we will not use these tactics nor will we allow someone to use them on us. Jesus said to his followers, So don’t be afraid, for you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:31
We must destroy this enemy of our soul.